Confirmation.

Since I've been working at a lab, I met this guy. His name is erm, TH.

TH is slightly plump. Rounded, a boyish kind of guy. Cute perhaps.
I could feel like there were special sentiments exuding from him but I've always tried to shrug it away.

Then, my cold shoulder treatments doesn't seem to hit him. I mean it doesn't deter him from asking me questions anyway.

Innocent little questions.
At first I was warm and friendly but I have no idea why I started inching away. I mean. I didn't want that kind of attention. I mean, I've always tried to deny that he would prolly have any feelings for me.
I guess I didn't want to erm, make things erm bad for him.

But I would always get irritated when he talked to me. Bad. But I got irritated.

Cos I just wanted him to stop.
So anyways.

Today my colleague talked about him again. Then I told him, 'I don't think TH likes me.'
Then he said, 'Hahaha he does! He really does. I'm serious. He has a bit of feeling for you.'

Well. OOookay. I can't deny it no more. My intuition has been blaring loudly since... since ever.
So I thought about it. And I said, 'But I don't have any feelings for him.'

Hoping that above said words would reach him somehow.
So please. Above-words, please reach TH.

I guess sometimes things like these freak me. I mean it's a different thing if I knew you very well and then I realised from a third party or something that you have some kind of feelings towards me. But nooooo I barely even know you. I mean I don't even talk to you. That's the thing you know.

I guess, (based on analysing my past erm, freakedoutness) that's prolly why. I mean cause the guys that I'm freaked out at, doesn't even know me. I mean I don't even talk to them much. Yeah. I guess that's why. Else I'd find it easy to erm, put them down gently or somewhat.

Hmm. Meow. That's it for today.

Hmm, today I didn't sleep.

Jai Harpalani. This is the name of the Indian guy I think that said, 'Do well,' to me.

I mean. Of all things. 'Do well.'

=.=
I don't know why I remember another encounter with him. It was when I nearly knocked into him with an umbrella. And he said another weird comment. He said, "Take care.' Not like Oh be careful. But like, take care of yourself. HUH?!

Well, maybe I know why. Maybe he looks quite okay. But whatever I don't think I'm liking him. I think he's my height. HAHA.

Recently in Maple, I met a guy called Quill. He's Javanese and he seems kinda nice. He's been in the same shit like I did. Only his was prolly worse as she sort of use him. I could somehow relate to him. I feel that I care for this persona of his and well... ahem.
And recently my ex called. I'm in a dilemma of whether should I get on with my life or give us another chance.

He said some things to his ex that totally isn't fair to me. That really hurts me and I think I don't deserve shits like that. I really don't. I mean, I just wish to not be hurt. That's all.

Two days ago I went to the open cinema with a friendand it was fun. We watched The Devil Wears Prada and Littleman. Haha. I love TDWP. I've watched it 3 times already. Thank God he found this piece of wood or we'd be wetting our butts. He has extra tickets.

The only bad thing is that our butts were sore a while later.

I've never been out with a guy like that before. I mean it was perfectly friendly and he was perfectly amiable. A gentleman AND a friend. I mean, cause guys that I went out with as friends made me feel somewhat disgusted. Oh wait. I do have another friend. But with him it was like brotherly sort of thing. Also awkward at the same time because he wasn't really very er... well, we had stuff to talk about but didn't really really click. Hmm.


Moo.

Oh. And when I wanted to get that HarryPotter book just now the girl told me that it's sold out. I mean before that I booked a book that day! And it was the last one and the other day when I went to get it the girl told me her boss asked her to sell it to another customer though I already booked it! Sooo okay... I'm okie but until today when I'm supposed to get it. UGH. Then she calls me and tells me it's out. But I'm okie with that if only she didn't say her boss told her it's like... out. Like her boss isn't going to get more.

Oh. I got so agitated that I told her that they promised me. And that she had better ask her boss. In a im-very-annoyed-sort-of-way.

Ugh. So that's my day.

Name Found!

I finally found out what's the mysterious guy with the accent's name!

The one I was in the lift with! Hehe! Weirdly he always wears the same clothes. They don't seem overworn... Black top. Cargo pants.

His name is Francis Siah.

AHAHA Boon Hock. Mmm Oops this is supposed to be annonymous.

Haha. His id is 10590 weu weu. He came to take his paper.

Darn. I forgot to check what course he is in. UGH.

*bangs head to wall*

Bird.

Is saying goodbye one of the hardest thing to do?

Or is making the decision to let someone go harder?
And pushing them towards it...


Does letting someone go actually means loving one?

We are selfish.
It is a well known fact.
Not everyone can be so generous as to put others wishes before ours.
It is always what we want.
Particularly when that person is quite close to us.

But will you let something go if it cannot be retrieved again?
If it's for the sake of the bird? So that it may soar up high in the sky?
In the heavens while carrying your hopes and wants?

I have been selfish all these while.

I decide to be selfish no longer.