Never own stuff like Mom.

It's been more than a year since I've wrote anything.

Cut things short, I had internal drama for nearly a year. About September or October we were together. Then he nearly kissed some girl and I got really pissed and starting spewing poison and lead at him, and he couldn't take it over the phone, and said we wouldn't work out. And thus, I drew a sharp intake of breathe, and just took it in. At that time, I thought if he could just walk away so easily, I would too.

Reading back on what I wrote, being involved with A makes me think that I'm not loving myself the way I should. Because I allow myself to be vulnerable, so vulnerable. Is that love? I'm so tired of being hurt again.

I nearly did get over him until he asks if we can start over again. At that point of time, I was ready to give up the acquaintance to just stop the pain. If it's going to take a year to get over him, I won't be talking to him for a year, that's what I thought.

I decided to give us another chance, and so far we're doing good. In fact I need him. Especially since I'm facing stupid family crap issues. My mom has bad management in certain matters.

All I wanted to tell myself is this: Do not own mountains of things till you can't see your own floor, and especially don't leave dust to accumulate till it is visible. Take mom as a lesson!