Anew

Without realising it, I've stopped posting for about a month now. I just didn't write anything.

Since my last rather emotional one, that last post really did take all of me. Stretched myself to take all that I have within me, but not quite, compiling everything into one. Well, since that I can't write.

Thinking about my life, last year was crazy. My last month was hell. But I'm struggling hard to cope with my life. Sometimes I just feel like breaking down and cry and in fact I did. But only sometimes.

One word.

'Why?'

This is where I begin my life Anew. I shall be unsusceptible to hurt and well, let's just say without overreacting that my life is indeed in shambles and pieces. So if you know me just recently, I find it hard to communicate. I started going out about 2 weeks ago. I went to Cell. It did me good. I think that I need to go back closer to God. For when shit happens, I tend to stray further away. Because of the hurt. And circumstances.

Part of me wants to just stay cooped up at home because that's just exactly what I want to do. Part of me feels like... what... being a recluse for at least a month of two?

Please do not ask me what happened. It's so hard for me to relate to it when I am trying my best to forget it. But don't worry it's not as serious as me being raped or something like that, or molested. Nope. Nothing like that.

I am okay. Not.

Phew. What a post for a first one.