Pork, Carrots and Gravy

Well, I tried to control my feelings and couldn’t.
So, I guess I’m just going to let it slowly fade away.

I’m at KL now, met up with a friend the other day. I took his car plate number down at first because I didn’t trust him, and sent it to Stef, so that she could call the cops if I didn’t report back to her. Note to self: No more meeting people unless I’m driving myself. Seriously, I don’t think I should be so trusting of people. I mean, one of these days I’m going to meet some psycho and then, my life shall end. I would be murdered.

—–

I asked, “Where’s my kiss?” and I was talking about a peck on a cheek yeh, but what’s so cute is that he went on talking about no kisses for me, unless no one was around and there’s candles and it sounded good, until he talked about beef and it was just so cute. No no, he was talking about pork, carrots and gravy. and garlic bread. AHAHA. Sorry, I had to laugh and joke about the garlic bread.

—

So today my family and I went grocery shopping, and we got the ingredients to get our cookies a-baking! My nephew & niece are very excited!

I never baked a cake before…
Does my not being able to cook or bake a cake lower my marketability? : ( Sad…
It’s ok, have heart, it’s easy. Can just get a guy who can cook, I have no qualms about doing the dishes. Besides, my loving raw salmon should be a plus point! Ahuaheuhue. Actually, it’s not. I just like to think it is. It is a useless faux brownie point.

I hate you blogspot, No pasting?!

Yes you heard me right, I hate you blogspot. You don't let me paste!


*GASP*

WOW THIS IS WHAT YOU GET BLOGSPOT.

This is what you get for changing your interface! I totally didn't notice the Edit HTML function on the top. YOU SUCK. NO wonder I can't paste. and you're too late! I've switched allegience to wordpress.

Fellas, I've went through the ordeal of making a new blog because I thought I couldn't paste. Meh.
So, www.tomyamgirl.wordpress.com.

Bye now~

Realisation

Finally, the one day during exam period that I didn't wake up dreading.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hHo-qSvoMo
Kelly Clarkson - I'm already Gone 2009

This song is sorta mellow and it feels very real.

I have decided to leave. Leave the bond that I have with A.
Recently, thinking that I should begin accept that sometimes love just doesn't conquer all.
Like, the distance. I'm starting to think like him. That maybe it won't work after all... I have always kept a hope that it would.

But when the bad feelings come hitting me like a wave, I cannot remain hopeful any longer.
Funny, I used to think the next time I fall in love it would be with someone who is able to persuade me and keeps relentlessly persuading me to change my negative, pessimistic view of love. But yeah, I want someone who will do that, who believes in it and who works hard to make me believe it, who can make me feel 'YES! We can do it!'

That is why, I should try my very best to control and forget my feelings for him. Because if I don't, it will be too painful one day, too painful for me to see him leave. I am not a noble person, I'm not that big a person to make myself unhappy as long as the guy is doing what I think is best. That's why if I ever have cancer, (TOUCHWOOD) I wouldn't go without telling my partner. Some people leave without saying anything because they think it is best that the partner doesn't know. I think I am not that sort of person. I'm not strong enough. I'm the kind to lean for moral support.

Last Night, Good Night By Hatsune Miku
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha4T3ZJwxt4

I don't know what's wrong with blogger, it won't let me Copy paste thus, I cannot paste the sad lyrics here. :(

First Day of Exams!

So, today is the first day of exams for my 2nd semester in uni. That means, next sem will be my third sem! So far so good! The only subject that I utterly have no confidence in would be Pengajian Malaysia. It's like, zomg! wth!

How do you fix something that isn't there in the first place?
When you want to draw that other person closer but have no idea to go about it?
When you try to have conversation and he just doesn't seem to have anything to say to you anymore?
When you feel like you're drifting apart and nothing you seem to do is stopping that?
and you can't ask for some things because he has no obligation to do it for you.
why would he do that? You're his nobody.
And you're afraid to try harder because it might be as you have feared, he's avoiding you. or might get bored with you. or annoyed with you and that makes him want to talk to you less.

I think I shouldn't feel like this anymore. I think I should be more detached from now on and not make myself so vulnerable. Silly me! Always vulnerable.

Want to talk to me? Turn me on.
Don't want to talk to me? Turn me off.
I don't want to be convenient.
Bury it, bury it, bury it.
I have been happy for the past 9 months but now I must be wary and be accepting of the reality of how things are/will be/cycle of things.

Sony Cybershot TX1's advertisement has this really nice song. I don't know the name of the song nor the singer. :(

When the twilight sings,

It's washed away, way by the sea,

Open up your eyes,

Believe the dream.

You see how I feel,

That feeling something's just not real,

We are drifting through the stars,

Floating here to Mars,

Believe the dream.

I liked it so much that I found the chords for it unconsciously!