Realisation

Finally, the one day during exam period that I didn't wake up dreading.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hHo-qSvoMo
Kelly Clarkson - I'm already Gone 2009

This song is sorta mellow and it feels very real.

I have decided to leave. Leave the bond that I have with A.
Recently, thinking that I should begin accept that sometimes love just doesn't conquer all.
Like, the distance. I'm starting to think like him. That maybe it won't work after all... I have always kept a hope that it would.

But when the bad feelings come hitting me like a wave, I cannot remain hopeful any longer.
Funny, I used to think the next time I fall in love it would be with someone who is able to persuade me and keeps relentlessly persuading me to change my negative, pessimistic view of love. But yeah, I want someone who will do that, who believes in it and who works hard to make me believe it, who can make me feel 'YES! We can do it!'

That is why, I should try my very best to control and forget my feelings for him. Because if I don't, it will be too painful one day, too painful for me to see him leave. I am not a noble person, I'm not that big a person to make myself unhappy as long as the guy is doing what I think is best. That's why if I ever have cancer, (TOUCHWOOD) I wouldn't go without telling my partner. Some people leave without saying anything because they think it is best that the partner doesn't know. I think I am not that sort of person. I'm not strong enough. I'm the kind to lean for moral support.

Last Night, Good Night By Hatsune Miku
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha4T3ZJwxt4

I don't know what's wrong with blogger, it won't let me Copy paste thus, I cannot paste the sad lyrics here. :(